This is the third installment of Yamagata Yuka's serial column.
Today, I'd like to talk about how we perceive things.
I would like to talk briefly about it.
This may come as a surprise, but I'm a Yokohama BayStars fan, and this season a new foreign player has joined the team.
This foreign player plays without changing his expression at all times.
There is almost no reaction when they fail or when they achieve results.
He doesn't laugh when he gets hit, and doesn't feel frustrated when he gets hit.
When her husband saw it,
"Maybe playing baseball in Japan isn't fun."
He said.
In fact, I thought something completely different from him.
"What a sincere and earnest way to contribute to the BayStars! I'm so grateful!"
I was really impressed. (And what's more, he's a handsome guy.)
This "difference in perception" is all around us in our daily lives.
However, what I found interesting was,
The important thing about this foreign player is that
They're not saying, "It's not fun!" or "I'm going to contribute!"
I find it interesting that we are the ones who interpret and feel things in our own way.
Another different episode,
One day, as I was walking along the platform in the refreshing morning sun,
There was a man running as fast as he could and jumping onto a train.
He bumped into my shoulder a little...
Of course, my first impression of him was terrible.
Because your shoulder hurts.
My refreshing day,
It all started on the day we bumped shoulders and didn't even receive an apology.
The feeling changes from painful to a little sad.
So I imagined,
"I hope something bad happens to that guy (the guy who bumped into me and jumped on me without apologizing)!!"
Instead,
"Maybe something terrible has happened to someone very important to them and they need to rush over as quickly as possible. Maybe they've overslept for an interview that could change their life forever. I want them to apologize, but I hope they get there in time! I want to keep my eyes on what's in front of me and walk forward too!" I imagined.
Did you just think that's a nice-natured way of thinking?
I don't know if I'm really a nice person,
For me, which one will make my day happier?
Ultimately, you are simply making a choice based on whether it will be beneficial to you.
He's quite a cunning type.
It's up to me whether I imagine the former or the latter.
It's up to me to decide how I perceive and feel things.
In other words, if I'm free to interpret things however I want, I want to reframe them in a way that's beneficial to me!
If you look into this,
It has an academic name: "reframing."
Reframing means to change the frame in which you view things and re-examine them in a different way.
Apparently there is a psychology that helps people understand and utilize this reframing. (I feel like I learned about it from many people in my working life without even realizing it!)
I am a fundamentally positive person,
This reframing is effective in many aspects of everyday life.
Even if you feel anger or resentment, you can often change your perspective and get over it within as little as 30 seconds, or at most overnight.
However, it's important to note that reframing isn't just about being positive.
Reframing begins with understanding and empathizing from a different position or perspective, so it's important to note that it doesn't just mean trying to be positive.
Perhaps I have gone too far with this, and my husband often scolds me for being "too optimistic" (laughs).
In other cases, it may lead to lowering your own value and diverting your attention from the issues at hand, so of course you need to be careful.
To be honest, I often heard this from my boss at Layout.
"You shouldn't think that people who are convenient for you are good people and people who are inconvenient for you are bad people."
It's a phrase I still keep in mind.
I tend to think that people who accept difficult requests are good people,
I tend to think that people who make harsh criticisms are unpleasant.
When you feel something unconsciously,
Most of the time, we interpret things in a way that is convenient for us or that reflects our own thinking habits.
To return to the example of the foreign players on the Baystars,
My husband is always thinking, "Is it really like this? / It will take time to believe it / Don't get your hopes up too much, stay calm."
On the other hand, I believe that "everyone is a good person/we start with 100% trust."
Both of them were unconsciously speculating about the "true feelings" of the foreign player who had come to help them, based on their own usual way of thinking.
Either way, there's no harm or benefit to us.
This is not to say that one is right or wrong.
I think the biggest point is that you are free to feel however you like.
Furthermore, freedom means that you can be "unconscious" or "a little conscious."
It's fine to feel it in a way that's convenient for you,
It's okay to think of it as a ``whip'' for yourself.
It's also great to be able to feel/understand things anew!
Thoughts are always free.
That's why I always value ``thinking in a way that makes me happy.''
This story included some light-hearted content and some complicated topics, but I hope to bring you something similar in the fourth installment.
The end
Yuka Yamagata
After working as a textile designer, she was in charge of planning, sales and design of carpets and rugs, and is now an art director focusing on spatial design. One of her responsibilities at work is managing designers. She started writing serials under the name "Yamagata Yuka." In her private life, she lives a relaxed life with her pet dog and a very ordinary husband. She likes Natsuo Giniro's books.